I am becoming
Stillness in the midst of chaos.
They give me ample opportunity
To battle incongruence
My stoicism is saving face,
From inner tremors
That would sever the shield
And break the armour
Against him.
Against her.
Anger and ardour
Are looking too similar
Maybe they enjoy the disdain,
A stain is still an imprint nonetheless
An alliance to hold onto
Before they’re washed away.
You have creative control over your experience. Illusionary perceived realities seen through distorted optics will paint you an image of lack and deficit. May you be the lender and not the borrower. Through the misty hollows of your troubled mind, let the seed of hope enter the ravens hand and take flight. I pondered on the mind’s capabilities. The capacity to fragment into alters of self in a sophisticated manner. Not through accidental means, or nefarious control, or defence mode induced trauma; but full autonomous control in which subconscious programming aligned with conscious realisation and intention, could produce ability nothing short of supernatural. Fragmentation brought back into full integration. Mankind in an of itself, the ultimate machine. A vessel self-programming, self-starting, and therefore if mishandled, self-destructing. Is this impossible or is this our true nature unbeknownst to us? Are elements of this already in display. Is it a supreme facet of ‘Christ-consciousness’ or perhaps even beyond (true God-body). Focus on the heart.
Distant wind to pass through me again. To stand every hair at the nape of my neck. Familiar spirit to leave me again. Temporary visits that teach me pain and how to renew my mind to restoration, Libations for the wounded heart. Pulmonary pulsations beating down my Defenses, spilled ink at the hands of the Hunter’s fatal bow made me weak. I consecrate his blood from my crown to my soles. I will live for you until I die again my forever friend.
This Black Gold is my Sun
The decree of my universe
The thing You see
The way I am identified
And made unique
Set apart and confined by my
Own luminosity
If I am the light of my sun
And I am I
Then the eye is mine
Yours, Ours
The eyes of We.
The aisles of Man
The place where we concede, into
The heart of God
The place where we roam free.
This little room where I lay my head,
Is not really home, but it tries to be.
Provides me rest, I suppose, I guess,
Somewhere to store a sleepy soul.
Safe in the confines of these four walls
Soft carpet, my ocean floor
To soften the blow of my falls.
In all honesty,
I’m breaking my rule of thumb.
Allowing myself to feel
A weeping willow, no longer numb
I cry softly into new pillows.
Nightly purges where I heal
Then smile into slumber
Exploring nightly
Dreams fly out my windowsill.
There’s the house burning in the sky.
The Nightrider’s on my back
and in the front seat getting me by.
I talk my way out of a death decree defined,
You learn how to barter when your life is on the line.
When the houses burning flames escaped
the firmaments hollow eye,
I looked around the shadows creek,
knew it was the dying time.
But my gift of gab is my saving grace
so I dropped it on the dime,
In that moment she was just like me
My Nightrider and I.
Looked at her from the passenger
My demon in disguise
I know that it was just a dream
But I could nearly cry…
How quickly it goes.
Searching under stones for sincerity
Sifting through the haystack until I feel the needle.
Ever since I lost my reason in the eye of the cobweb,
Ever since you tore through me like the Scorpion to Orion,
My heads been spinning.
Now I ignore the itch, resist the urge to deliberately defy death
Bordering on the brink to be
Laughed back by gravity.
Retreat into the safe space that
Claimed me when I found you
To use and be used.
“Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale / Her infinite variety: other women cloy / The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry / Where most she satisfies.”
Antony and Cleopatra, Act II, Scene II
-William Shakespeare
Meet me in the middle
In hopes we might reconcile
At the highest degree,
And bear no strange fruit
No rotten seeds
Clean at the core
Rewrite history.
A ground once unfit for love to breed
So brown eyes like mine turned blue
Drowning in violent thought of you.
Looking back to the wave of your hand,
And the goosebumps on your skin
Grains of sand,
Quick to sink in.
Are love and hate irreconcilable
If absolutes do not exist?
When passion and pain can be found in a grab of the wrist.
Where water subdues what
Fire and desire persist —
Satan as well as God in the midst.
I found you and your opposite too
Fit to split my heart in two,
To colour me in black and blue
Then rinse it away
Start anew
Drink another case of you.
Night follows day, and day night
The moon saddles up
In light of her sun.
Lost in me, Lost in you
Forgot there was such thing as I,
In the end all was one and gone.
Open at the core.
Ready to receive
In the still of the Night.
Ancient memories
I once could not perceive
Revealed in the glint of candlelight .
A firework in my eye
The spark and excitement of becoming,
The thrill of being undone.
Threads unravel to be woven once again
Or sometimes entangled and discarded
In the end.
Hope sealed in the heart of a knot
The rope burn still remains.
A feeling of friction,
The sanguine sense of touch,
It was enough to incite me
Enough to inspire me.
I’ll chase that thrill until the end.
Right off the ledge,
More than enough.
Until I transcend
Over the edge?
Over the edge.
Traveled to more places than ever before
Despite this quarantine.
Near and far, High and Low
You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen.
Through this time continuum
Unearthed holy terrain,
My restless mind, the bends —
A drifter in the land of dreams
Where all end and begin.
I even went to Hollywood,
It was there I learned I didn’t want to be a star.
Instead I walked on by into the haze of night sky
Unscathed yet somewhat scarred.
Found myself stood at a mountaintop
in Vegas, thought I’d make a deal.
Turned back before I lost it all,
Lest I lose sight of what is real.
The details in the sins, you see,
And everything in between.
I long for comfort
Yet want to be condemned
He says forgive myself
And let the Sun in.
nadiajosephine 